Last night I watched a video by Bill Johnson entitled “Heaven
invading earth”. In the video, Mr. Johnson made a statement that
went something like this (I’m paraphrasing here) “The Lord
answers all our prayers, except those which violate our purposes”
(speaking of our purpose in the center of Gods will). This statement
caused me to ponder some of the seasons of my life where my prayers
were seemingly unanswered. One particular season I've labeled “The
cigarette prayers”. This was a time in my life where I was not
serving the Lord. I was living for self, given to all manner of vile
activity. Yet it was during these times that after a hard day of
self-absorbed living I would lay in my bed, with the last smoke of
the day becoming the incense of my supplications and cry out to the
God I refused to serve. (I find it curious that compared to other
seasons my prayer life may have been stronger
apart from
serving God). These prayers typically were comprised of me responding
to the guilt of a wayward life. And always ended with some form of
the following statement: “Lord; take my soul, for if I keep it I
will destroy it – keep it for me until I meet you – may I meet
you soon”.
It was in this season that I truly believe I was looking for a way
out, an escape. I was crying out to a God I didn't know, or better
to say a God I refused to know. Asking him to take me; to remove me
from my circumstances’ and sin. In that place I believed that it
would've been desirable to fall asleep and never wake. This was the
heart of those prayers. And yet the Lord mercifully never answered
that prayer. In hindsight it has become obvious to me that God’s
plan for my life transcended my then morbid escapist mentality.
Mr. Johnson’s statement has helped me refine my perspective on
that long dead season, as well as causing me to reflect on all those
prayers that if answered would've violated my purpose and destiny
in Christ. While we may not always receive answers to certain
prayers; and while this may cause us some difficulty, it is an act of
God’s sovereign grace. For had my requests been honored; I may have
awaken only to find myself dead. In this context I can say thank God
for unanswered prayer!
Luther.
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