"The long winter".

Psalm 4:3-4 NASB

3 But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself;

The Lord hears when I call to Him.

4 Tremble, and do not sin;

Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.

I find it interesting; no; I find it concerning that I seem to fall into reoccurring seasons of the seeming absence of God's voice. Waiting for God to respond to the questions of the heart can be agonizing. This dark night of the soul which causes me to cry out all the more for the fathers touch - it does not feel like the blessing it is supposed to be. 

Winter is often long and oppressive for those who thrive in summer. Just as the absence of God's hand in our trials is equally oppressive. Even still He is always there, just unseen from the darkness of our vantage point. We must go on knowing that even in our trials He is working, He is moving, He is running to our aid. And we must be ever moving toward him - even when we cannot see. 

It is with these thoughts that I share a prayer from 2013; with the hope that the reader will endure, persevere, and if nothing else - survive. For He is coming - dare not to quit!

"Father,

I feel so empty today, I feel the great distance between us, as yet again I have given myself to the wind, blowing me every which way but to you. I have plans and designs, to build up all the broken things around me; to fortify myself with valueless prideful endeavors. That I would ever do anything to point to your Son seems an impossibility - yet I look to the peak of that mountain. As to the chasm between us I look to that lone cross. How is it that I reside under the shadow of God? Why have you saturated me with blessing and spoiled me with the good things of temporal life? And so I am resigned to war against the heathen appetites that rage from within. With my gaze fixed and true I will climb that mountain; should it cost my Life - I will Climb!

Amen" 

Luther.