"Spare Change".

Romans 12:1-2 / ESV 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I had a dream last night, and in my dream I was having a conversation with a man who was expressing his difficulty with not seeing desired change after his professed conversion to Christ. as I woke I began thinking what would I say to one such as this should the Lord give me an opportunity?

So many believers focus on "change" as a means to an end. change is good - especially when we have negative behaviours in our lives. but to make desired change our sole focus reduces our faith to a form of behaviour modification, striping it of its true transformative power and in that form it is no longer superior to anything else we may find out in the world. we all want to change, we all want to be better than what we are; and I believe it is right and good to look to Christianity as a means to those goals. yet we cannot stop there.

It is when we look to Christ and pattern ourselves after Him that true and lasting change comes. when we make him Lord of our lives - He directs our footsteps toward Himself, toward His will and desires for our life. in following that path we can look back (hindsight being 20-20) and see how much we've been transformed. again change is not the central thing it is periphery what is central is Christ himself. if we have truly accepted Christ as our saviour, if He is the saviour of our very souls than our response to him can only be one of worship. the maxim that one becomes what they worship is true.

It is our worship that becomes the transforming agent in our lives, it is our worship that has the power to change our old selves, as beings that dwell in darkness to the "new creation", sons and daughters of the father, children of light.

So what would I say? I would attempt to express this one thought:

"If you are struggling to see manifested change in your christian walk I would challenge you to look to your worship, focus on that, make that central to your existence and the change you so desire will become evident not only to yourself but to all those who look upon you, and in that moment you will be a light for all the world to see.

And when you have  the light of Christ shining within not only have you been changed, you now posses the power to change the very world!"

Luther.  

"Looking to Journeys end".

Philippians 1:6

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ".

This week has found me attending yet another funeral; the third this year out of our faith family. All these beloved were somehow linked, directly or indirectly to our worship team. They were prophets, elders, choir directors, - innovators, accountability partners, friends. Those who undeniably had more of their lives to pour out, more to give, full spirits to say the least. They were candles snuffed out before their time. And to add insult to injury; I have to make an appointment to see my spiritual father - soon; he has cancer.

As a side note: "they" gave him six months to live; .... eight months ago! (praise God for going beyond the "expiration date")!

All these losses and looming tragedies have me unusually focused on death, the afterlife more specifically. I've realized that it's not death itself I fear; not that I want to die mind you, but my fear lies in what comes after death; that being judgement.

For the believer this is not an issue of salvation or condemnation for our hope and standing are in Christ. No; my fear is having to answer for a life not lived. A destiny aborted, my divine purpose wasted. I find the idea of meeting The creator carrying that which He assigned me to give away, a buried talent as it were.

Given the average american lifespan I am nearing the halfway-mark. And I've yet to achieve so much more both personally and spiritually. I know there is more for me to be and to do - in this life, and if I fail to reach that pinnacle, there just might be "hell" to pay.

For now I must have faith that the one who began the work will see it finished. and that He will soothe the heartache from losing our beloved ones along the way.

Luther.

"Of Mice and Men".

"Only when a man flounders beyond any grip of himself 

and cannot understand things, does he really pray"

Oswald Chambers.

I will tell you a story about a man I saw once, he was tall and strong and proud. This man was given of his wife the task of dispatching a field mouse which had fallen into the "pit" of their egress window (it is curious as to how one kills a mouse in a confined space such as this).

As I watched these events unfold, the man took an oar and began futile attempts to somehow ferret the despised invader from the premises, he poked, herded, and pressed that fat little field mouse. and in spite of the mans harassment's that little mouse with all of its might jumped and bit the blade of that oar in hopeless futility. The mouse attempted to climb the screen of the window in an effort to escape, only to be struck down time and time again. This activity went on for some time until the mouse resigned itself to a corner of the pit apparently exhausted; the man seizing this opportunity, slowly, deftly, hovered the blade of that old oar above that small creature; and in one fluid motion - he became mouse slayer, defender of his wife from rodent uncleanness, a hero.

Why do I tell this story you ask?

I tell this story because I am that man. I have mastery over my environment. I am able to meet the needs and desires of those who rely upon me, and am all to ready to strike those weaker than myself. yes  I am that man, and that is my external reality. Yet in like fashion I am that Mouse; deep within the "pit" of myself striking out toward any intruder. Using all my strength to climb out of the recesses of self; only to be struck down again and again. Yes I am both the one who presses and is pressed, who drives and is driven, who strikes and receives blows. As these roles co-exist within, always opposed - I come to the end of myself, not knowing why I am such; only knowing it is then time to pray.

Luther.

"The long winter".

Psalm 4:3-4 NASB

3 But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself;

The Lord hears when I call to Him.

4 Tremble, and do not sin;

Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.

I find it interesting; no; I find it concerning that I seem to fall into reoccurring seasons of the seeming absence of God's voice. Waiting for God to respond to the questions of the heart can be agonizing. This dark night of the soul which causes me to cry out all the more for the fathers touch - it does not feel like the blessing it is supposed to be. 

Winter is often long and oppressive for those who thrive in summer. Just as the absence of God's hand in our trials is equally oppressive. Even still He is always there, just unseen from the darkness of our vantage point. We must go on knowing that even in our trials He is working, He is moving, He is running to our aid. And we must be ever moving toward him - even when we cannot see. 

It is with these thoughts that I share a prayer from 2013; with the hope that the reader will endure, persevere, and if nothing else - survive. For He is coming - dare not to quit!

"Father,

I feel so empty today, I feel the great distance between us, as yet again I have given myself to the wind, blowing me every which way but to you. I have plans and designs, to build up all the broken things around me; to fortify myself with valueless prideful endeavors. That I would ever do anything to point to your Son seems an impossibility - yet I look to the peak of that mountain. As to the chasm between us I look to that lone cross. How is it that I reside under the shadow of God? Why have you saturated me with blessing and spoiled me with the good things of temporal life? And so I am resigned to war against the heathen appetites that rage from within. With my gaze fixed and true I will climb that mountain; should it cost my Life - I will Climb!

Amen" 

Luther. 

"The Lost path".

Recently I decided to take my son on one of my prayer walks in the "field' (Woods). He was quite the little trooper; although he was weary of the walking - he did keep his composure. As is my way, I deliberately go off - trail to pray, to whatever secret place the Spirit would lead me. After a time of brief prayer (in  accommodation of my guest) we headed out. It was then that things became interesting.

Somehow I got turned around and had lost my way back to the trail proper. I was headed in the right general direction, but my ill chosen path required we traverse fallen logs, brush, and thorny vines, (which sole purpose was to create trip hazards for small feet) my young charge wan none too pleased! After some time we did find the trail leading out. Walking along the roadside we made our way down to our drive, with house in view my son spoke or better to say the Lord spoke through him.

My son expressed his pleasure and gratitude for time spent together, then followed up with the following statement; "Dad, I want to go again, but if you go alone, Jesus will talk with you - he's cool like that". truly out of the mouth of babes!

I have learned long ago to not discount the words of children, yet it wasn't until several days later that I came to fully appreciate what was spoken. Spiritually speaking; I have found myself in a season where quite honestly I've felt as though the path is lost; not to be understood as my faith; but my specific direction - 'The Trail" as it were. I am still headed in the right general direction, yet my way has been cumbersome of late.

Even still I am comforted by the knowledge that if I must traverse this path alone, I know that the Lord will talk with me. And if He talks with me - in this place - He truly is with me. So while my way seems obscured by the fog of circumstance;

- I will find my way ........ Home!

Psalms 16:11 (ESV)

"You make known to me the path of life;

In your presence there is fullness of joy; 

At your right hand are pleasures forevermore".

Luther.

"The inconvenience of a locked door".

Jeremiah 15:15-21 (NASB)

15 You who know, O Lord,

Remember me, take notice of me,

And take vengeance for me on my persecutors.

Do not, in view of Your patience, take me away;

Know that for Your sake I endure reproach.

16 Your words were found and I ate them,

And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;

For I have been called by Your name,

O Lord God of hosts.

17 I did not sit in the circle of merrymakers,

Nor did I exult.

Because of Your hand upon me I sat alone,

For You filled me with indignation.

18 Why has my pain been perpetual

And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?

Will You indeed be to me like a deceptive stream

With water that is unreliable?

19 Therefore, thus says the Lord,

“If you return, then I will restore you—

Before Me you will stand;

And if you extract the precious from the worthless,

You will become My spokesman.

They for their part may turn to you,

But as for you, you must not turn to them.

20 “Then I will make you to this people

A fortified wall of bronze;

And though they fight against you,

They will not prevail over you;

For I am with you to save you

And deliver you,” declares the Lord.

21 “So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked,

And I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent.”

When every door of perceived opportunity is slammed, closed, locked, and barred; we become vulnerable to a spirit of discouragement and project our despair toward the Lord. This is actually an attempt by the enemy of our souls to sow the seeds of bitterness in an attempt to produce worthless fruit.  

And yet the Lord is faithful to respond to our despair, not with punishment but an opportunity for acceptance,  a promise of protection and triumph.

So while we wait for the doors of opportunity to open for our destiny we must keep our speech, our attitudes, and our behavior precious (honorable and desirable) before the Lord. For in keeping the garden of our souls free of the weeds of discouragement and despair, we will find ourselves positioned as the Lord's spokesman; fortified - fit for the task ahead.

Luther. 

"Gospel of blood".

Islamic extremism has been in the forefront of the news on an increasing basis, some would say that these acts of violence are the actions of a minority group within Islam. but the truth is that these "extremists" hold to the same text (the Koran) as "moderates"; and so whether the doctrines of Islam are acted upon or not, the fact remains that the gospel of Islam is a gospel of blood. It is bathed in the blood of those who would oppose its influence, who would decry its inherent violence.

Militants of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) executing dozens of captured Iraqi security forces members at an unknown location in the Salaheddin province. (AFP Photo)

The gospel of Christ is also stained with blood.  yet it is not the blood of its enemies, nor is it the blood of sinners - of whom we all would qualify. no, this gospel is stained by the blood of our own Lord and Savior (not to neglect the blood of those who gave their lives for his cause).

Post-crucifixion scene from The Passion of the Christ (2004)

Body of Christian martyr with Bible placed on his back by the Muslim killers

God being holy could justify requiring the blood of all, yet he chose to offer his perfect son in the stead of mankind. of those two gospels, one brings violence and death, the other brings life and peace. and yet for far to many the choice between the two is still one of difficulty. may the Lord have mercy and call all into his marvelous light.

Luther. 

Haiti : (Day 14) Update

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 29 / 2014
[Update], Sunday


Thursday night found me hospitalized from what started as flu like symptoms and escalated to a fever that placed me into a state of delirium worthy of an ambulance ride to our local hospital. I later found out that my symptoms were the result of dual contributors of dehydration and an intestinal bacterial infection.

My hospitalization lasted until Saturday afternoon before I was finally released. I’m now just regaining my strength after this health relapse; taking antibiotics and transitioning back to “solid” foods are my natural priorities right now. This was quite alarming for all involved, especially my sweet little wife. I am however thankful for the support my natural and spiritual family gave both myself and my wife during this challenge.

Given the reports of this experience, the “big” question from many is this; “would I do it all over again?” well the short answer is – yes, yes I would. What we did for the kingdom of God in Haiti, and what God did in our own hearts is worth far more than any temporary infirmity, I and others of the team may have experienced. To clarify, I know I am not called to “go and stay”; but I do believe in a general sense that all believers (myself included) are called to “go”. While the mission field may not be my final destination, it is one of the many required stops on the path set before me.

So would I go back to Haiti? Would I go to another land should God call me? I can only answer with the question; would Peter again walk on the waters if Christ beckoned him? I believe he would; and therein is my answer.

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 8

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 23 / 2014
Day 8, Monday


We rose with our hearts and minds focused on home; ready to be reunited with the varying people and places with which we are so familiar. It’s strange to me; now that the “work” is done my desires have so quickly shifted from reaching the Haitian people to getting home. How fickle our hearts can be!

We collectively made our way through the routines of security, customs, and immigration. As we waited for our scheduled flight time; looking around I realize that somehow I’m going to miss all these “strangers” that I've spent the last week with. I've made connections and found friendship among kindred spirits. It pains me that relationships that started so beautifully will be so quickly terminated. When I leave these people, I will leave a small piece of me with them.

The "Holland" Team members. 

My wife and I with a few of the "Detroit" Team members.

These; my fellow travelers, my brother’s and sister’s in arms; I will long for the presence of their spirits for many days to come. Should our paths ever again cross, in that moment I am confident that the missing piece of my heart will be returned to me.

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 7

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 22 / 2014
Day 7, Sunday


We rose early today. Unfortunately we had to leave before breakfast due to the time constraints imposed by the logistics of multiple ministry sites. I was slated to speak at the same church that had previously hosted the women’s conference, so I welcomed that familiarity. I gave a message entitled “The Way of A Spiritual People” that discussed the topic of Christian unity. It was well received, especially by the Pastor (given his words of praise). Our team did engage in hands on ministry which the congregation was hungry for. After the service a woman brought her daughter to our team for prayer; it was reported to us that she suffered frequent attacks by a spirit that would “posses” her. With my wife taking point along with myself and the majority of the team, we ministered deliverance. The unclean spirit began to manifest initially, she then fell out in the spirit shortly after. When we concluded our ministry, we all felt that progress had been made, yet we were all too aware that her deliverance was not complete (many of us suspect a generational issue). It is clear to me that I have a lot of maturing to do in this type of ministry.

The churches Worship Team.

Poor pic: Myself and translator.

After the morning meetings concluded the teams returned for an afternoon of “down time”. We fellowshipped recounting the days ministry events and partook in lunch. Some also attended the optional teaching session on “The Holy Spirit”. As an unexpected bonus several of the translators brought in some souvenirs for us to purchase (with a significant price hike no doubt) as safety concerns relegated us to the confines of the hotel grounds. We opted to rest and prepare ourselves for the last crusade that evening, our minds beginning to drift homeward.

We experienced some hostilities in travel to the crusade grounds, which placed many on edge. This caused us to remain in a “tighter” group for the remainder of the evening, but after binding the spirit of fear we once again were ready to pursue all that God had in store for us. Regardless of the opposition, we continued to see many healings and people being set free from the varying devices of the enemy.

The young man in the hat befriended us on the last few crusades.

One of our translators (the white shirt) taking a photo.

The evenings debrief found us reflecting on the week’s events. It has been one wild ride to be sure! By way of overview, we collectively survived: random power outages, rashes, spider bites, viral infections, diarrhea, one broken arm, natural hostilities, and spiritual opposition. In spite of all these; what we accomplished both spiritually and naturally was worth more than any temporary infirmity we endured. Experiences were shared, friendships made, and most importantly God moved in such a way that none will soon forget.

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 6

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 21 / 2014
Day 6, Saturday


Today is a special day for my wife and I; it’s our anniversary. Six years with the same woman and even on our worst days as a couple; I could not imagine not meeting her at the end of the isle. If it were possible, I would marry her over and over again. Being here in this foreign place experiencing these things together has only solidified that fact. She is my love, my friend and my life. I do truly thank the Lord that he has counted me worthy to spend my time on this earth with a woman of her caliber.

Today, the teams were re-divided between those who were going to the women’s conference and those who would attend the business conference. I was slated to attend the women’s conference at the request of my wife, and was glad to do so. Overall the conference went well, there were some concerns with the capabilities of one of the translators, but that proved to be a non-issue. Also two members of the host church had passed away so attendance was unfortunately low as the funerals were most likely taking place. I am really fighting fatigue today, to the point that I’m beginning to wonder if it’s actually some form of spiritual opposition. As the conference went long, we had limited time to recoup before the afternoons outing so we opted to stay behind (as did others) and get some much needed rest, this proved to be a wise decision.

Melissa Cisneros ministering at the women's conference.

Cindy Williams giving an illustrated message.

The evening crusade was again marked by exuberant praise and worship. Although we did see some enemy opposition in the form of “pockets” of distraction within the crowd, in addition to two fights break out. In spite of this we rallied ourselves once again under the prompting of Cindy Williams, to prayer and intercession during the word ministry. This resulted in great fruit during the ministry time allowing us to snatch many things out of the hands of the enemy.

A "little one" that wanted to see the skit; best seat in the house! 

The evening debrief typically goes without mention but tonight was different in that the Holy Spirit broke out among all of us who attended. There was laughter, people being delivered and simultaneously slain in the spirit. As one would return to their feet someone else would lay hands upon them and again down they would go; (sometimes both would fall). This went on until approximately midnight. This event challenged some of the teams’ perceptions on how the Holy Spirit works and moves yet all received some touch and no one to my knowledge decried this display. Personally this was one of the greatest displays of the Holy Spirit’s moving that I have witnessed; and all I can say is “I want more God”!

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 5

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 20 / 2014
Day 5, Friday


Last night’s crusade was so full of exuberant joy it was contagious, I couldn't help but get caught up in the fervor of praise and worship. I believe this was an extension of our afternoon outing where we set aside the skits and “ministry” and just had fun interacting with the people. These seeds of joy translated to a higher level of praise and worship than previous nights. We all danced with the people (and I was razzed some on account of my display), prayed some, but mostly entered into praise as one large body; Haitian and American, black and white, all crying out to Jesus with joyous expression. The Haitian people are capable of so much joy, and dance; it is a stark contrast from the hopeless expressions seen during the day in the markets and squares.

Mandy's friends from the pastors conf.

Today’s schedule was more of the same; Pastors’ conference, street ministry, and crusade. However our team’s time at the pastors’ conference was cut short due to a transportation shortage. This minor hiccup did give our team some extra time to rest / relax and afforded Maranda and I time to fellowship with Cindy Williams.

This young man found us at every crusade gathering.

More of Mandy's friends.

Tonight’s crusade followed the same as the previous night as to exuberant praise. Yet during the ministry time the gathering “broke down” in that (as best as I can put it) a spirit of distraction entered in. it was visible to all the leaders. Pastor Joe Wentering rallied the teams to intercession, and when we were released to pray we saw great fruit. Some suggested that the cause for this was the presence of a local witch doctor. As I had the “privilege” of standing next to this person all I can say is that while I could sense an unclean spirit around him, the presence we ushered in was so strong as to make the unclean forces of no threat. My feelings were later confirmed by others from our team as well. While the presence of this witch doctor may have been a factor, my personal suspicions as to the true source of this opposition lie elsewhere. We would find later that this would not be our last run in with this type of spiritual opposition.

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 4

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 19 / 2014
Day 4, Thursday


Everything about this trip challenges our American mindsets. It is a constant assault on our ideals and values. I cannot help but be grateful for all that we have. Today starts the two day Pastors’ conference and I am personally excited to gauge the spirituality of the Haitian leaders.

During this morning’s devotions I was drawn to Acts 4:13-31. Whatever opposition we encounter today I believe that today will be a manifestation of vs. 29-31; with boldness we go out to extend healing hands with full expectation of signs and wonders for we know our God is with us!

View from the "back" of the pastors conf.

Long services are the norm here - children adapt.

 The Pastors’ conference went well. It was interesting to see the reactions of the people to the differing ministry styles of the team members. Pastor Joel Cisneros empowered the congregation to pray over the U.S. team members. It was a beautiful sound and we could feel their love for us. So far there have been very few negatives, (most are beyond the scope of this writing) save for the horrible bus rides, but that is a reflection of my height more than anything else. We are settling in and becoming more accustomed to the people and the atmosphere.

The beginning of the "dance off".

Local Participant.

The pre-crusade outing this afternoon was eye-opening. Our skits and youth dancers attracted not a little crowd. The standout event for many of us was watching my wife and two other sisters’ minister to a crippled and mute boy. When the father (who we found out was a former believer) brought his broken son to us he could not speak, his limbs were contorted, and the boy had no hope of ever walking. After the ladies prayed and interceded; battling a spirit of infirmity, the boys arms and legs straightened significantly and his tongue was loosed enough to say “Jezi” and “Hallelujah”. The ladies tried having him walk, which he did difficultly with assistance. After seeing the sisters progress; I and Pastor Joe Wentering jumped in and began to pray also. We both noted a sense of spiritual opposition and I attribute that to the “incompleteness” (at least in initial manifestation) of the boys healing, which I found frustrating. Even still, what we all saw today has left us with a profound sense of the forces of darkness that are at work in this nation. Despite our disappointments, we give glory to God for the healing that was received and for the boy’s father (after witnessing these events) re-dedicating his life to Christ. Today Gods people confronted oppressive spiritual forces and we pushed back!

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 3

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 18 / 2014
Day 3, Wednesday


Slept fairly well which was surprising. I was even able to take a warm shower, which I would later discover is reserved for early risers only. The immersion in this environment has caused me to focus on the task ahead; as such the spirit has brought to my remembrance a particular passage, Matthew 14:22-34. Like Peter, I am so far out of my comfort zone as to be completely out of the boat. It is here in this state that I must stay focused upon Jesus, for if I get too involved in the sensation of walking where I've never walked before, I may be tempted to shift my focus on the prevailing winds – and in doing so sink. As I look around at all of us here, studying the word, praying, journaling in the early hours; we show ourselves devoted. It is devotion to Christ, or better our love for Him that compels us to come to this place, to speak a word of life to a dying nation. I (we) am here, Lord use me!

Street ministry was quite a foreign experience for me. The commotion of the people, the ever present garbage, the sounds and smells was stimulus maximum. Our team did experience some opposition from a few naysayers but nothing that diverted us from our mission. Overall at each location we were well received by the people. Today I witnessed a young woman’s swollen knee be healed. For me this display thrust me back to the cramped dining room where I received a similar healing; my own father laying hands upon my knees, watching the swelling instantly diminish. I was just a young boy then, and like this young Haitian woman the memory of our healing will never be forgotten.

Our afternoon venture led us through one of several “smaller” markets which revealed the sad state of life here. For those in our group that have never been here, I don’t think any of us had expected conditions to be so poor. To our American mindsets these conditions are all but incomprehensible.

Here I had an opportunity to Minister with fellow team members.

The evening crusade was amazing. The people were so hungry and receptive to the gospel message. There were many testimonies of healing after we were released to pray for the people. One of those was a woman with some type of extensive body pain (fibromyalgia?) we (Maranda and I) prayed and saw the fruit of her dancing upon the stage as a testament to the healing power of “Jezi” (Jesus). Seeing God work through us in this way was not only humbling but a great faith booster! The evening found us tired yet eager for tomorrow; if for no other reason than to see what God is going to do next.

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 2

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 17 / 2014
Day 2, Tuesday


I hate travel. We slept in the airport in Florida, which proved less than accommodating. The best way to describe how I’m feeling is “a grilled cheese sandwich that has been left out” – rubbery and greasy.

We got underway – resumed our security dance and eventually boarded. I caught a glimpse of our very young looking pilot, and given our accelerated ascent I have no doubts that his name badge read “Ramjet R.”, but after an otherwise uneventful flight terminated by a “off-roading in a plane” landing we were in Haiti.

We were greeted by the wonderful sounds of local musicians. With all the fanfare it was impossible not to get caught up in the atmosphere of excitement touched with anticipation. Moving through security was mundane for most, and even for those who did have hindrances, they were minor and summarily resolved. It was here at the entrance of the airport doorway that the gravity of a new land impacted me. Stepping over the threshold – from one world into the next, I was truly in Haiti!

Arrival scenery.

Arrival scenery.

 [10:00am] Fatigue is really kicking my butt. I feel sick and lack of sleep is causing me to exhibit some nervous trembling in my hands. it is becoming increasingly difficult to formulate thoughts and so forsaking any kind of settling in, I attempted to rest. I had felt two familiar hands placed upon me and heard words of comfort before falling asleep. My wife’s prayer really made a difference; even though I was unresponsive I knew the spirit was working through her on my behalf.

One of the "Restroom facilities" we encountered.

Random view from the hotel.

The hotel accommodations are so far below our Americanized standards there really is no basis for comparison. We do have running water, a “mostly” flushing toilet, and an air conditioning when the power was on (our unit was new when president Regan was in office, which turned out to actually work in our favor). Thankful for a few hours of much needed sleep, we ate lunch – which was amazing in its simplicity. Now rested and fed; we spent the remainder of the day fellowshipping with various team members. And concluded the day with the evening meal and a time of “corporate / community” worship and group devotions.

Luther.

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Haiti : Day 1

The following is a transcript of my journal entries chronicling the events of my first mission trip (with wife in tow) to Croix Des Bouquets, Haiti:


June 16 / 2014
Day 1, Monday


We arrived at the airport around 3:45 pm, met the team, and begun the slow waltz of navigating airport security. Still nervous about the flight; I’m consoling myself with the idea that if something happens, I’m doing God’s work and somehow that should earn some “holy brownie points” enough to enter those pearly gates, (as if a works based faith model actually had merit). And if the plane falls out of the sky, bursts into flames, or is suddenly infested by snakes; my memory will live on in infamy – at least for the several weeks of news coverage; so much for consolation.

I thought moving out of my comfort zone would be easier to handle, somehow more comfortable, but that really doesn't work does it. So as I prepare to ride in the ominous steel tube to a place I do not know, I am reminded of all the times that I faced strange new worlds of experience and the Lord saw me through. I have every expectation that this time will be no different. Yet again it’s time to put my personal faith to the test, to see if I really believe what I claim to.

[11:38 pm] Touch down. Despite my apprehension the flight was uneventful save for the cramped quarters. My fears now proving to be unwarranted, it is now time to settle in for our 8+ hour layover. Sleeping in any nook and cranny that we could secure for ourselves we found little relief for our weariness. It’s curious that I find my concern for my wife’s needs and comfort somehow bleeding over to the other ladies in the group. It seems that those who cannot rest should serve. Either that or some resident compassion deep within is beginning to stir. But for the sake of appearances we will assume the former.

Luther.

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“The spiritual voyeur”.

1 John 2:16 HCSB
“For everything that belongs to the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in ones lifestyle – is not from the Father, but is from the world”.


If I were asked why I refrain from sharing every spiritual experience, every encounter with the spirit of the sovereign creator; I would respond in this manner. I would compare to a man whom upon making love to his wife, shares every detail with any who would give ear. This man is justified in that it is entirely appropriate for a married couple to engage in intimacy. Yet to share those details shatters the holiness and sanctity of that act.

To believers this idea is no doubt highly offensive. Yet how many of us will go to great lengths to posture ourselves as spiritual people. We take great pains to ensure that all know the number and magnitude of our spiritual encounters. To me this is tantamount to “spiritual pornography” in that we strip ourselves of the covering of holiness and intimacy and with fleshly pride we put on a performance of our spiritual prowess.

There may be times when it is right and good to share what God is doing and has done in our lives. But we need not reveal those special intimate times when our Lord speaks to our heart, those times when “The lover” whispers into the deep recesses of our soul.

I believe that some things are better treasured in the mystery of silence; it is enough to say that we have been intimate with our Lord; the details of these interactions should be pondered in our hearts and withheld from the desirous gaze of foreign eyes.

Luther.

“The cold reality of anxiety”.

Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV)


25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.


We all deal with anxiety; but why? As believers in the one who is all and in all, we really have no legitimate reason to be anxious – with that said; anxiety is still a reality.


A few things I have learned from my own experience are that often my emotions are the driving force behind my anxiety. When I feel like I’m not in control, I feel helpless / powerless and weak. Somehow I have tied my self-worth to my ability to control my life. Thus the more control I have the greater my value as a person. When this cycle becomes “out of balance” (from a Christian perspective it is always “out of balance”) that is when I am prone to feeling the stress of anxiety. The reality in this situation is that I have no eternal perspective with regards to life’s situations; which results in pulling tomorrows trouble into today - for which there is NO grace.


Sadly this reveals the "littleness" of my faith in these situations; which ultimately is a trust issue. I tell God that I cannot trust him to see me through life’s hardships, that I cannot trust him to have the ultimate control. Perhaps this is a glimpse of why some are prone to self-doubt with regards to their salvation. Could it be that lack of ability to control every facet of natural life only amplifies ones inherent in-ability to control the spiritual realm? In other words; the fact that we cannot save ourselves from the mundane reveals that we truly cannot save ourselves eternally.


And so if my focus remains fixed on controlling every earthly situation on my own; at best my focus is divided between the temporal and the eternal. At worse I am not seeking (first) Gods kingdom and his righteousness. And despite the resulting torments of anxiety, nothing I desire will be added to my life.

Luther.

“Stagnant water”.

2 Thessalonians 2:15 (ESV)
“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.”


Have you ever come across a pool of standing water? The entrance to an area I had previously hunted always flooded in spring, leaving foul pools of stagnant water that had to be navigated to reach my blind. When water pools and does not flow, it breeds all manner of foul things, becoming useless for cleansing or consumption.


Spiritually speaking; stagnation leads to backsliding and a lukewarm spirit which God says he will spit out of his mouth. For the believer it is imperative that we stay flowing, moving, always pressing forward in every aspect of our faith.


That ideal can be challenging; especially when we lack a sense of direction, our specific calling being somehow obscured. Nevertheless we must press on, remaining faithful to that which we do know. We must stand firm; regardless of the obstacle, following those familiar paths of the good and right - faithfully. In doing so, we bypass the spiritual stagnation that would keep us from our desired reward.

Luther.

“Equipped for battle”.

Galatians 5:15 (ESV)
“But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.”

One of our sons wanted an armor of God play set for Christmas. As parents we knew we must purchase two of these items - one for each son. When we gave the armor play set to our boys, much to our surprise they began to assault one another! We had envisioned them playing side-by-side, focusing their offense toward some fictional “enemy”. We believed that these “gifts” would unify our boys in their playtime. Somehow it escaped us that these “gifts” would be the tools by which our sons would assault one another.

The thought came to me that even adult believers act similarly. We equip ourselves with God’s armor and proceed to attack one another; forgetting that we all serve in the same army. The armor of God is for protection from the enemy of our souls and for offensive measures toward the kingdom of darkness. when it comes to believer to believer interaction we should lay our “swords” down and look for ways to repair the “chinks” in one another’s armor instead of exploiting ones weaknesses for our own gains.

We must remember that we are equipped with spiritual armor to protect and unify us. In the manner of military allies; we may have differing backgrounds and cultures, yet as Christians in God’s army we fight side by side for one kingdom.

Luther.

“Those who walk alone”.

Hebrews 11:9 (ESV)
“By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob fellow heirs of the same promise”.

I found myself at a particular event recently. A gathering if you will, where believers and non-believers engaged in mutual celebration. I could not help but notice the marked difference between the two camps; there was no hostility, no contention, just observed behaviors of those who stand apart, those who stand alone.

As followers of Christ, in many respects we are continually standing alone, always on the outskirts. It’s weariness sometimes, taking all ones endurance to exist in that environment. We are stuck in this in-between place. We cannot go back to the state of being of the world, yet we are in this world; aliens in a culture not our own. And the very culture we stand apart from (even if that culture was once ours) we can no longer understand.

We are those who dwell often alone, misunderstood, marginalized and persecuted. Like Abraham we persevere pressing onward toward the promise; content for a time to dwell in our respective tents with fellow heirs.

Luther.  

“New passages and Old haunts”.

I was invited to a “Rite-of-passage” ceremony recently. As I entered the hosts home I was greeted by numerous men; men from a myriad of ethnic and cultural backgrounds. Here we were, all gathered for a singular purpose; to welcome a particular male into the brotherhood of men. This event was setup by the father of the young man in question. And I counted myself privileged to attend.


What stood out to me in this experience was the witness of relationship between father and son. For a father to make the effort of gathering key men (as it related to his son’s life) for the purpose of affirming his transition into manhood was telling. And as the night progressed and the ceremony finally drew to a close; predictably my thoughts drifted to my relationship with my own father, or better to say my lack of relationship.


It was several years ago that the strained relationship with my father reached a breaking point. I remember the day well; his final words of rebuke, his assurances that others who were not sons would prove to be better son’s to him than I had been, those words stinging my heart. On that day, I made my way once again into a fatherless state; vowing to never return to such a place of vulnerability.


It is curious how a beautiful event can lead to thoughts of injustice; injustice regarding my father’s actions on that day so long ago. Still, after a life time of enduring the message that I’m not good enough, that I haven’t lived up to the standard set before me and my relational responses to my father from that vantage point; to have the relationship terminated so abruptly is a hard pill to swallow.


I want to rage, to vehemently defend myself against these wounds. Yet I am well aware of my role in contributing to the dysfunction. But in spite of all this hope remains.


Psalms 25:16-18 (ESV)
16 “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. 18 Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins”.



This scripture reminds me that I need to rely upon one greater than myself for healing. Still holding onto the hope that one day my father and I will stand side by side - proudly, warriors with swords finally at rest, upon the shores of heaven.

Luther.

Bushcraft: “Budget knife”.

Here is a quick write-up (not necessarily a tutorial) of how I made an inexpensive knife. This is by no means an original idea, just my take on the concept. – hope you enjoy.
Here I’ve collected some basic materials for the job.

• Scrap pieces of leather.
  
• 3/16” poplar dowel rod (leftover from another project).
  
• Some leather cordage for the lanyard (leftover from another project).
  * You may use whatever is on hand.
  
• An unknown species of hardwood that was used for an old deer drag rope handle.
  
• 2 bone buttons (I decided not to use these as the project progressed).
  
• A 7” reciprocating blade (cost: approx. $3.00).
  

Blade:
First I marked out the basic blade shape (somewhat difficult to see). I used a small bench grinder to shape the blade, and hand files to rough in the cutting edge. Be careful here that you don’t overheat it and ruin any temper the blade may have. Keep some water for cooling the blade nearby. As a general rule if the blade is too hot to hold your affecting the temper.

I also center punched my dowel hole locations; location is based on your preferred handle size.

Also the tail was rounded as that will be exposed.

Handle:
I had cut my hardwood scales a little too thin so I added some plywood veneer to the backside to increase thickness. I used 30min epoxy and clamped everything up to cure.
Note: in the photo, you can see the blade after being sanded and dowel holes drilled out. Also the blade edge has been hand filed.

My camera died here so I wasn't able to take pictures of the handle assembly. But the process is as follows.

• Glue up scales (after trimming to rough / basic shape).
  
• Drill dowel holes in scales using blade as a template.
  
• Glue scales, blade and dowels together – clamp till cured.
  
• Once dry, using a small coping saw trim as close to blade body as possible than sand remainder of handle to final shape.
  
• Finish sand and coat with polyurethane or varnish.
  

Sheath:
I started with 2 pieces of “tomato stake” cut approx. to 8”.

Next, I carefully scored two parallel lines using a coping saw. Basically I set the saw edge on the face of the stake and slowly dragged it across until you have a line about 1/16” deep. The next step was to take a chisel (a 1” was the smallest size I had) and carefully notch out the material between the score lines. The thickness of the knife blade will determine the cut depth.

Note: go slow! The part in this picture was my second attempt as I went way too deep on my first try.

Here you can see the two pieces nested together to create the blade pocket. Sand accordingly to accomplish a proper fit. You want the blade to fit snugly but not bind.

In this photo we have the glue up of both pieces. I used the same epoxy as on the scales. After it dries add any creative elements or shaping then stain and varnish.

P.S. – The cell phone pics of the leather work turned out horribly! I should have checked the settings first. I really need to get a handle on my camera situation.
The leather work is as follows:

• Hand sew a belt loop to the large piece that wraps around the sheath.
  
• Pre-sew the sheath wrap, leaving the stitching excessively loose (creating a sleeve).
  
• Place the sheath in the leather sleeve and soak the assembly in extremely hot water (NOT boiling) for a few minutes.
  
• Carefully begin to pull stitching / lacing tight, working your way down. This will cause the leather to gently stretch around the sheath.
  
• Once the leather dries it will “shrink” and you won’t be able to separate them without using inappropriate force.
  

I added a small piece of leather cord (soaked in mineral oil) and a wooden bead (stolen from my daughter) for a blade keeper.

Conclusion:
I think this turned out really well given the materials used. And my cost was right around $3.00 (depending on the materials you have to purchase your cost may differ). As for performance – it will take a keen edge but it does dull rather quickly; but a few passes across one of those cheap “V” sharpeners brings the edge back, so it’s not a big problem.

I initially made this for outdoor / bushcraft use and it does “ok”. It can skin a squirrel decently if kept sharp. And light cutting tasks are easy to execute. Surprisingly I had difficulty in making feather sticks (my thicker bladed knives performed better) I’m not sure if it’s the blade or my skill level? It does work wonders for food prep though. And as a result has become my go to kitchen knife.

All in all this was a neat little project given the low cost. If you've never attempted to make a knife, this would be a great project to cut your teeth on. I hope you enjoyed this write-up; and if you have questions, ask away.

Luther.